After The Thrill Is Gone.

Emotion is the Gatekeeper of learning. How true... For example, take two students from the same class. They're both taugh the same subject matter, they both have the same instructor, and they both do the same work. However, one of them enjoys the class whereas the other is bored out of his or her skull. The student who enjoys the class will come out of the room with more information, and almost assuredly a higher grade. This is because that student looks forward to the class, pays attention with enthusiasm and will be sure to remember things that they enjoy.

As twisted as this comparison may sound...the same can be said about relationships. Learning is key to a good relationship. When people have a close-knit relationship, they know about their other and are willing to learn all they can. This reverts back to learning being the dependant variable, if you will, of emotion. This happens everytime you are with someone, be it your best friend or a store-clerk. It's an unconscious process that occurs. If you enjoy being around someone, you'll pay more attention to them and pick up on the finer points of their character. This doesn't necessarily refer to the amount you learn about someone over a length of time. If we meet someone who we just "Click" with, we can learn more about them in fifteen minutes than we can of someone we've known for years, but have no desire to be around.
Going back to the idea of close relationships, the same is true. If you were to say date someone, but eventually realised that they were perhaps not "your type", you wouldn't have the desire to delve any further into their being. You would cease to pay attention to the metaphorical wood-grains of their character.
On the contrary, if you meet someone who you love, in one sense or another, you will constantly pick up on new things. There is no possible way in which we can know a person entirely. We can never know everything about a person...it is even debated whether someone can know themselves "in and out". However, we can always strive to know as much about them as we can. Even when you think you know someone there are always little things that are new or unknown about them. Unless you have a truly keen interest in garnering everything about them, and give them every ounce of focus you have, you will generally miss them. These little traits are what keep things interesting.

The next time you meet someone for the first time, say a new co-worker or classmate, test yourself and see what you can find out about them in the first time you see them. Also, the next time you talk to someone you feel like you've known your entire life and know everything about them. Pay attention to their mannerisms and see if you can pick up any new traits. This is not to tell you to make assumptions about them...but rather to realise that the subtler parts of the people we know are just as important about the major characteristics they show.

(C) 2006 Sean Slater (Thanks Maroney!) All Rights Reserved, All Wrongs Justified.