Animals Are Better Than You...

This is the Cheetah. It can move at speeds of up to 75 Km/h. If a human raced a Cheetah, it would beat you...and then it would probably eat you. The Cheetah is better than you.



This is the Penguin. A Penguin will choose a partner and mate for life. You probably don't even have a girlfriend or a boyfriend. The Penguin is happier than you, and the Penguin is better than you.



This is the Salt-Water Crocodile. It...Well, it shits all over you.



This is a Polar Bear. It primarily eats seals. Can you eat a seal? The Polar Bear is better than you.



This is the Giant Tortoise. It has been known to live to up to 250 years old. It is older than you, and your Dad, and your Grand-Dad. The Tortoise is better than your whole family.



This is the Tapir. It is extremely ugly. It looks like the bastard child of a Pig and an Elephant, but it has the largest penis-to-body-size ratio of any animal. You have one of the smallest. The Tapir has a bigger doodle than you. It is better than you.

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