Live The Life!

While going through issue #9 of "While You Were Sleeping" magazine...I happened to find the letters they received amusing. That is to say, almost as amusing as their replies. Please laugh and feel the mirth as I post some of my favourites.

Hey whatz up,
I'm an artist and I would like to make my own graff mag. I'm from California. I was wondering if you can hook me up with some info to produce a graff mag. If you can break it down for me so I can try to make my own shit on mag.

Peace,
PROTOCULTUR3@aol.com

Get some construction paper, some elmer's glue, a box of crayons, and put on your imagination cap...


Dear Editor,
I was recently going through my 12 year old son's room and found a copy of your magazine. To say the least, I was appalled. I asked how he got it and how long he had had it and he replied "three months, slut." Well, if my memory serves me right, three months ago is when he was charged with molesting the neighbors' 10 year old daughter, and since then we have had complaints of him busting out windows with slingshots, scratching "My Stupid Parents" and his nickname "Lil Chubby Chuck Rok," into three of the neighbors' vehicles, and stealing vacuum cleaners. Prior to all this, he was a straight-A student, and I am fully holding your magazine responsible.

Sincerely pissed,
Parent of once sweet,
"Lil Chubby Chuck"

Once again, our intern Andrew is having serious issues he has to deal with at home...


Dear WYWS,
Hey, you guys seem to be into the younger chicks, so I wanted to ask you guys if you think I should hit this cute little girl who is a freshman in high school right now. I'm back from college and I'm twenty. The holiday break is a good time to catch up with friends and have some fun, but do you guys think she's too young?

J-Train
Pittsburgh, PA

Barring hospitalization or natural disaster, we are home at 3:15 every day to watch the 7th grader across the street get off the school bus. Does that answer your question?


Dear While You Were Sleeping,
I have been contemplating suicide for some time now. I have weighed all the pros and cons of it, and every time I come to the same conclusion. The only thing holding me back is I don't hate myself, I just hate everyone else. So what I am wondering is should I just kill other people instead?

Thanks,
Jose Phaeo
(Just after the VT Massacre...I know I'm tasteless.)

If you have any brothers or sisters with genes like yours, please take them with you...


WYWS-
I'm pretty new to the graff scene, and I'd like to say thanks for the inspiration and motivation you guys have given me. Here's the problem I've got - I just moved from Brooklyn to South Jersey a few days ago, and so far I've only seen tags around. Don't get me wrong, tags are dope, but I'm dying to see some insane pieces. Give me some tips if you could on where to go and maybe some tips on painting, and I'll send you a picture of my first piece and some naked chicks' pictures.

Thanks again,
BEING-?

P.S. I got arrested last night for tagging the F-Train and need a new name. 17 hours in jail. They took my paint and markers. Off the pig.


They probably took something else from you in jail too. My best advice to aspiring graffiti writers is quit now! Join the football team, you'll get way hotter chicks and drink way more free beer if you score the winning touchdown.



Dislcaimer:
It is not ok to hurt people, break into buildings or homes, write on people's shit, do drugs or touch underage girls. Though these activities might seem fun and amusing to read about, doing them can get you in a whole heap of trouble. If you do anything and get away with it, please write and tell us about it. If you get caught, don't blame us.




Damn, man...I should totally turn this into an online magazine. Send me a message if you think it would be a cool idea.

(C) 2007 SEASE Productions. All Rights Reserved, All Wrongs Justified.