Unreflected Consciousness

Have you ever listened to an instrumental song? Perhaps of a song you already know, perhaps it's new to you. Until tonight, my thought patterns mimicked an instrumental track perfectly. I'd sit down here, hoping to relieve myself of the anxiety and emptiness that I'm currently wading through, and yet the words that I'm trying to find to explain everything shy away. I can't express myself, and perhaps that is the most frustrating thing I've experienced of late.
It's strange, isn't it? Oft times we hear music and expect it to have words, but when you listen to an instrumental track something else happens. The ambience of it takes over your auditory sense and heightens it to a new level. You begin to hear new things that weren't really present before, when the words were there. This happens in everyday life too. If you decide to ignore what's being said, you can hear background noises and sense things that you normally woudln't give a second thought. It's happened to me a lot lately. I simply tune the world out, ignore what people have to say...and the ambience of it takes over. Sometimes we're so "blinded" by words and the things that people have to say, that we waste all our energy focusing on the audio and not near enough on anything e lse. Perhaps it would be better to deaden the spoken, and listen to them in a different sense. If you don't get what I mean, think back to the last time you were at a concert, a rally, or even when it's too loud in the school cafeteria. When you're with someone you know, you need only to look at them and you'll know what the other is thinking. Not to say that there is some kind of telepathic "hearing"...but there are other methods of communicating without your mouth. I, for one, am sick and tired of talking to people...I'll speak if I have to, but I'd prefer not to. Talking to someone online, or writing them a note is fine...but vocal expression is beginning to grate the nerves. So please, if I choose not to answer your vocal questions with a vocal reply...don't take it too personally. It's not that I'm ignoring you (entirely anyways), it's simply that I don't have the ambition to speak. I guarantee you that I'll give you a proper answer...you'll just have to look for it. I like working on challenges, but I especially love giving them. I can figure it out, so you damn well better be able to as well. Good luck, folks. You're going to need it.

Many want to make themselves known by the words they speak. First off, I wonder why these people wish to make themselves known. Are they honestly attempting to be Authentic? Or are they simply smothering a fantasy of being rich and famous? So many people that I know constantly tell me that they will become a movie star, or a top singer...What in the hell would compell you to do that? What is so great about having your face plastered on billboards? Why is it such an amazing fantasy to be on stage in front of 25,000 live fans all screaming their lungs out, on top of the millions who would be watching you live on TV? Is that what it takes to get you off? I find it disgusting(No Offense...). Of course, I'm sure you're all wondering what my problem is...It must seem paradoxical, a Graffiti Writer denouncing those who wish for fame. Well I assure you that it is anything but. First off, I don't want my picture posted all over, I don't want fans who will pull off crazy stunts just to see me up close, and I certainly don't want an entourage of managers, bodyguards, and photographers to follow me around 24/7...Your movie scripts have nothing on the expression that radiates from a four-colour burner on the second-storey of a building. Your song lyrics can't compare to a two-tone throwie on the side of a freight car.
I create art, I bend the limits of my right to free speech, I break the law to express myself in my own way. The thrill of an illegal activity, the knowledge that I am exercising my "God-given" and inalienable rights, and the creative process that goes into the art...fun and all, but it's still not why I write. It's an escape, just like dope, alcohol, or anything else like that...except mine is far better for me and society. I just want to say that I AM a threat, I AM cancer to the cities of North America, I WILL influence the minds of younger generations, and I WILL write graffiti. Don't like it? Screw you.

Two rants in one post. Go Me...

(C) 2006 Sean Slater (Thanks to nobody...) All Right Reserved, All Wrongs Justified. SEASE1 Productions
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