Lilium...

"The mouth of the just shall meditate wisdom, and his tongue shall speak judgement." - Psalm 36:30

To anyone who has ever been alienated. To anyone who has ever been ostracized, dejected, or disappointed. To anyone who has ever had their trust broken, their heart broken, their promises broken. To anyone who has ever been left to pick up the shards of what's left. To anyone who has ever been truly alone. To anyone who has ever despaired to their breaking point. To the survivors...This is my acknowledgement.

I was told when I was growing up: "Be yourself." "You're an individual, and that is something to be proud of." "Everyone is different."
However, I've found over the years...that for those of us that are individuals, those of us who are 'different'...it causes nothing but problems. Be proud of yourself? Don't make me laugh...For years I strived to be my own person...to act how I wanted. Where did it get me? Nowhere. I was shunned, I was ignored. Once people got over the initial shock of my appearance and ideals...they labelled me as a miscreant, a problem-child. My opinions were nothing, intelligence was a foreign concept to me. Yet even before I began putting metal on my jackets, before I decided to make myself stick out...I was still being victimized. Only worse. As a kid, I had different ideas...ones that didn't go along with that of my peers. I wasn't a fan of Pinky & The Brain, I didn't like Power-Rangers...I didn't play Mario. I didn't get along with them...so I read. That's how it was. I had the occaisional acquaintance come over and play...but those times were few and far between. And so...for the first 12 years of my life, I had very little human connection. Unfortunately...Nowadays, I have an immense amount of human connection. I hate it. Too many people...and almost all of them are idiots. Driven by greed, lust, and one-upmanship...they comprise the fools that I am forced to call my peers. Still, constantly labelling eachother, snubbing those who don't "fit in". It's disgusting, and eventually it wears the nerves thin. It is at this point that I can say...I am sick of the world. There is no place for me that I can find...I suppose I'll just have to make one for myself.

As I walked home today, in the blizzard that is currently wracking my city...I was afforded 20 minutes. 20 minutes of tranquility, white noise, even whiter surroundings, and a beautiful sensation. Nothing but the wind blowing, the blinding snow, the bone-chilling temperature on my skin...I was given time to think. The one phrase that kept repeating itself in my head...made no sense to me. Now suddenly, I find it has meaning to it...
"Everyone is miserable in this place...they're all just looking for someone worse off than them."

(C) 2007 SEASE Productions. All Rights Reserved, All Wrongs Justified. "Quam serena, quam benigma, quam amoena..."